ahhh

yep, she's a nut

us on a good day

I want to scream and cry. What a rough night and morning. I really thought my newborn days were over. All morning I have been singing in my head "some days are better than others" to the tune of the Smith's "some girls are bigger than others". Sigh. Emma was up at 12: 17 am, 1am and 5:37am. I want to pull my hair out. I just want to have one uninterrupted night of sleep, especially since I was up at 3am that day.
So E proceeds to try and wake me up which is her new thing. Before last week she was really sweet and would let me sleep by quietly play around me but now she pulls my hand and starts saying "no quieres". This morning I wake up to a slurp followed by an "ah" and I look up to a full glass of wine looming over my head. E is just smiling and saying "gracias" and I quietly remove the glass from her hand. I was so tired last night that I didn't even get to enjoy my wine and hence how she got a hold of wine to begin with.
I roll over to try and sleep a little longer, but E is persistent and her new sure fire way of getting me up is by taking my hand and saying, "Mama , peepee". The minute I get up she smiles and says "good morning". I know more than half of the time she is just saying this to get me up but I was pleasantly surprised to see she actually needed to use the potty. What follows is a great example of why sleep is important and needed to function rationally. I left her on the potty to try and get 10 more mns of sleep and not 2 mns later I hear E in the hallway saying "oh oh , yuck yuck" and yep, there it is, small piles of soft yuck yuck in the hallway, on the seat and bathroom floor and down her leg. sigh...I realize I aint gonna be getting those last 10mns of sleep. Once I go in her room to clean her, I notice how she has destroyed her Chick and Pug book and I cannot understand why she would do such a thing, especially since it is one of her favorite books. All the pages are ripped out and I want to cry. I then go to the bathroom and I hear scratching on her wall and I come back to find that that she has scribbles all over her wall AGAIN. I lose it and I yell at her and explain that we don't do this and that I'm sad. She then comes over to me and makes her sad face and kisses me on the lips, as if that small gesture will fix things....and though I do melt inside, I proceed to tell her in a stern voice that we do not rip up books or write on the walls in a last ditch attempt that something I am saying will sink into her little head.
Finally, on my way to the car my coffee spills and I realize as I'm buckling Emma into her seat that she is not wearing a coat and it is 35 degrees and snowing. I really do start crying at this point because I feel like the worst mother...how could I leave the house without bundling her up? I was relieved to find that I had an extra coat of hers in the car and quickly cover her up. God I hope this day gets better.