Waves

"It comes in waves" has been my go to answer when people ask me how I'm doing. I'm actually quite touched with my friends, some that I haven't really spoken with in a while, will simply call me up to see how I'm doing. At first I'm taken aback wondering why they would call just to ask me how I am, but then I remember how it is more than a mere curiosity on my daily routine. So I answer that it comes in waves. At times strong and violent, smacking me to the ground and leaving me disoriented and other times things seem so far away and calm. The serenity that I feel at times frightens me because I feel there must be something wrong with me to be this at peace. And I still find myself getting excited at certain things that I see and feel that I must get for my dad. It's like a knee jerk reaction and it pains me when I realize that there is no longer a need to remind Anthony to pick up some nice candy at the duty free shop or send my mom home with some of the latest Trader Joes cookies. It is those small things that are taking some time getting used to. I still can't refer to my parents home as just my mother's home. It is still "their" home. They lived there, they rescued cats, they...