At times I feel E just skipped the next ten years of her life and went right into teenage mode. She is fiercely independent and that is good, but it also hurts me a bit. I long to feel needed by her. It is silly and hard to explain, but E doenst like to be held, or cuddle, or hug or show a lot of affection. She will run up to you and give you a quick hug, but it never lingers. At night when I read to her I just want to cuddle but she rather sit up, and do circle time. Her latest thing, aside from telling us she wants to do everything by herself, is that she now asks to be alone. She will escort me out of her bedroom so she can read and play alone. She rarely cries when I leave for work and I know I'm not supposed to compare but I do, and I do long to know what it is like to hold your child without having them squirm and kick. It is such a small gesture but it means the world to a mother, to feel the touch and love of their child. I know she loves me and needs me, but it is something so hard to talk about or even explain. Anyway, she is my world and I always look forward to each morning with her.
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