to have or have not

I guess ever since Emma has been about one and a half years old, I have been teetering with the idea of whether or not to give her a sibling. I grew up with one and in the back of my head I always thought she would have one as well. But the thing is I never really saw myself as a mom or having a big family; but now I have Emma and she is my world. I love her so much yet I can't help but see how other kids are with their siblings and I think, maybe. It is strange because part of me fears that it wouldn't be possible to ever love another being as much as I love Emma, or that maybe I would want one in the hopes of getting a chance to do it all over again. For whatever reason, I teeter and I plan on taking some more time to figure things out.