sentimental

I must say that tonight I'm feeling very sentimental. I guess it started at Ikea today, I kept hearing a lot of "mamas" but they weren't coming from little girls, they were coming from women my age. I saw how comforting it was for some people to have their mothers by their side, asking for their opinion and sharing funny observations and it made me ache for my mom. When you have a child it becomes harder to be apart from your family, the same family you so longed to run away from just 10 years earlier. I wish I had my mom by my side to guide me and comfort me as I try to guide and comfort Emma's life. I have to rely on three yearly visits which just never seems to be enough. Anyway, it just hit me hard tonight as it also coincides with Emma getting her big girl bed. We now have two out of the three components needed to form her bed and by the end of this week, fingers crossed, Emma will have a complete bed. Tonight we disassembled her crib to make room for the mattress and when I saw it coming apart I felt so empty. It seemed like yesterday Anthony was grumbling as he put together her crib and now he was again grumbling as he took it apart. Emma of course was hyped up and eager to get in her big bed and brought all her animals to join her in a massive slumber party. I just went in to check on her and she has rolled off the mattress and is back on the floor. I need to get some guard rails asap. On a plus side I made my Valentine's wreath and my first attempt at lemon bars. They are currently cooling and will take all night to set, so I shall let you know tomorrow how they turned out.