Monday, November 22, 2010

I luf you

being emma

upset her papa wont let her be.

I had a late night on Sat, in bed by 1230 a.m. ! How sad that I can barely stay up past 11pm these days and consider midnight a late night. Anyway, Ant let me sleep in on Sunday and here comes the other sad part, until 830am! Wow..I remember when really sleeping in meant you would wake up at noon, maybe 1p.m. Ok, so I go into the kitchen to greet my family and see Emma eating her cereal very calmly at the table. She looks up and sees me and says "alli esta mama" and then puckers her lips and says "kiss". I lean in to kiss her and as I pull back she says "I love you". As clear as day and it was not "garble garble you" It was "I love you", well "luf" as E has a hard time saying her v's. Ant even heard it and I almost burst with joy because it was something that she did innately and not as a response. I didn't even say anything to her beforehand.
Well, the day was off to an excellent start and as I mentioned before we went into the city to go to MoMA. We took the train and of course on the train ride Emma was Emma. She was up and down and jumping and sliding down the seats. She loves the trains and loves looking out the windows but never enough to sit still for the entire ride.There was a family sitting next to us that was made up of a mom, dad, three children and one set of grandparents. Once Emma saw that the little girl, who must have been 5, sitting on her dads lap and the brother, probably her age, sitting on the mom's lap, she made her way onto my lap and just sat there. It made me really happy to know Emma wanted to be like the kids across the aisle. But then I notice she is staring at them and smiling and then her smile turns into laughing as she looks intently at the grandfather playing a gentle game with the girl. The look in her eyes of wonder and longing hits me and I start to get teary eyed. I realize Emma is not like most kids who at least have one set of grandparents around the block or aunts, uncles, cousins even small friends. And while I adore my close friends, I just cant ask them to give up a huge chunk of their time to watch Emma. I, like Emma, long to have my parents near us. I want Emma to play with grandma and giggle uncontrollably. She, at this point, doesn't understand about distance but is always so happy when we are back home. She loves to play and run with all three of her cousins and adores my mom and dad. I realize how in my previous post some people might feel that I am not capable of having a good time when Emma is awake and I do not want to give off the idea that only when she is not in the picture do we have a good time. That is not at all how I feel, it is just refreshing to be able to go out and not be sweating or scarfing down your food, as we did at MoMA. We actually had a really good time with Emma at FAO and Borders once she woke up.

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